It's time to lead with laughter!
Develop healthy laughter and be the leader you are meant to be! Build balance and better relationships, increase productivity and confidence simply by using laughter skills spontaneously and strategically in the workplace. Mirth, laughter, celebration, festivity, hilarity, and joking – in the proper context and setting – is a great catalyst for creating positive work environments.
Reasons We Stop Laughing
We lose permission to laugh as we get older, and past beliefs tell us not to be silly, or to get serious. We have been told to “grow up” and have fallen prey to the belief that in order to be taken seriously, everyone should be serious! In 1983, Josef Scheppach stated in an article that despite huge rises in our standard of living we only laugh 6 minutes a day and 40 years ago it was 18 minutes. At international congresses dealing with therapeutic humour in Switzerland and Germany, Dr. William Fry and Patch Adams have said that children laugh 400 times a day and adults only 17 times. We choose to do this because we want to be taken seriously.
Children laugh all the time. They can be playing very seriously and one of them will just laugh. The laugh will come from way down in the belly. For children, laughter is very natural and free flowing. There are four key reasons why we as adults laugh less – especially in the workplace, here are two of them:
#1 Fear of Looking Bad
As adults our laughter is often not free flowing. We hold it back, suppress it or change it, making sure that it’s a good laugh: not too loud and not too long, avoiding all inclinations of spitting, coughing, snorting and other unmentionables. As well, the laugh has to be appropriate and at the right time. If the boss is telling a joke, one has to make sure to laugh at the appropriate time and for the same amount of time as the co-workers. We are also afraid of wasting time, being talked about, laughed at, not taken seriously, losing our teeth and looking stupid.
Everyone wants to look their best. When we are laughing, we are sometimes afraid that the people around us might find us silly or ridiculous. The truth is that we are not going to be looking our best as we are bent over and roaring with laughter. Laughter is about letting go, letting it rip and just going with the moment. As we start laughing the mind will say: Stop it, I think I look stupid. We have to learn to ignore the mind and answer back with “So what!” Furthermore; everyone around us that is joining in the laughter is actually not looking their best either. Take a bit of time to reflect on this: why would anyone judge laughter as being ridiculous?
# 2 We Disconnect from Our Smile Sources
A few years ago, I realised that I had become a dysfunctional leader, life was not funny. I realized that I needed to reconnect to activities and things that generated a smile for me. They worked when I was a younger, so I figured; why wouldn’t they still work today?
Do you remember what tingled your senses as a child? Take a few minutes to relive these moments. What where the sounds, smells, movements/touches, tastes and sights that generated a smile for you as a child? As a child, my body, mind and spirit came alive through the sounds of birds, the smell of sweet clover, playing baseball, eating fresh bread and looking at sunsets.
These are some of my smile sources.
Start by making a list of the sources that do create a smile for you. If your list is not very long, don’t worry; this is where the begging, borrowing and stealing come in. Talk to your family members, partner, friends or co-workers about your smile sources and ask them what puts a smile on their face. In doing so the energy created will not only change your world, it will change the whole world around you. This will make your sources grow. I know, it sounds crazy but it works!
When the laughter goes away
Getting through life’s ups and downs isn’t always easy. When I am going through life’s many challenges the laughter disappears and this is very scary! What’s even scarier is that sometimes, the laughter does not want to come back. I have learnt that preparing myself for these difficult times is not only possible it’s mandatory.
Disaster proofing ourselves will get us through these difficult times.
Being disaster proof means surrounding myself with my smile sources, whether it's family, music or sunsets. As well, I play and practise laughter yoga each day and when things are not going well I know that it’s time to clean-up! Rainy days are perfect for clean-ups. I have also learnt that balancing my life is not only fun; it’s easy and most importantly I have learnt that having a dream is what makes me feel alive. Every day, I work on disaster proofing myself because the next time life throws me a challenge I will be ready for it. I will get through it because I know that the laughter is still there and it’s waiting for me. Disaster-proofing myself has been so powerful, I now work with my clients to help them become disaster proof.
Leaders Need to Know, Identify and Avoid Toxic Humour
Moving a troubled and sensitive situation towards laughter is high risk. When laughter is used to exclude or hurt someone it becomes toxic. We know that we ALL resort to toxic humour at one point or another. "Humour is a tool like any other," says Robert L. Weiss, a psychologist at the University of Oregon who studies humour in relationships. "People use humour in lots of different ways, including some negative ones. Almost every sweet, supportive way of using it has an evil twin; an aggressive, selfish or manipulative version. And like those teasing comments in the workplace that can just as easily feel like flattery or an attack, the two sides of humour are so intimately intertwined, it almost isn't funny.” The following story demonstrates how a leader’s misuse of laughter turns toxic.
Derrick is the marketing director for a big company in Toronto. He has been with the company for 3 months and is adapting well to all of the different tasks and responsibilities he has within the company. He likes the company and wants to succeed.
A staff meeting has been called, Derrick walks into the board room and see’s an empty chair beside Susan. Susan, the head of the Human Resources Department invites him over. Mr. Harris, the company CEO walks in; he is looking worried. Everyone is anxiously awaiting his announcement.
Mr. Harris hands out the annual report with next year’s projections. It has been a difficult year therefore changes have to be implemented in order to adjust. Mr. Harris blames no one but jokingly adds that if the company had a better Human Resources Department things might be different. Everyone laughs, except for Susan. After all, it is a really funny comment and it did relieve some of the tension.
When the meeting is adjourned, Derrick turns to Susan; she is upset. Susan is wondering why she is the target of Mr. Harris’s joke. Derrick understands her frustration and makes his excuses for laughing along at Mr. Harris’s joke. Derrick is wondering how he can change this environment.
Often, the person in a group who takes a stand is not necessarily in a leadership position; they are however demonstrating good leadership skills. It is the actions we take that make us a leader. Derrick did the right thing in recognizing Susan’s feelings. Should Derrick talk to Mr. Harris about his use of toxic humour? Will Mr. Harris listen and accept his comments?
People in official leadership positions must be prepared to be challenged and accept constructive comments from their co-workers in order to change a toxic environment into a positive work environment. Using the energy of our co-workers to promote healthy laughter and build positive work environments is crucial.
Studies have found that dominant individuals do use humour more than their subordinates. If you've often thought that everyone in the office laughs when the boss laughs, you're very perceptive. Philosopher John Morreall says, controlling the laughter of a group becomes a way of exercising power by controlling the emotional climate of the group. When laughter is generated with sexist, racist, sarcastic or ironic comments you can be sure that someone out there is not laughing! The long-term side effects of toxic humour are devastating; it destroys morale, creates cliques; the workplace becomes blasé and eventually laughter diminishes all together.
When we assume leadership positions we sometimes bring with us the tendency to use toxic humour. It has more power than a bag of peanuts in a zoo! Many leaders walk away from humour and laughter in the fear that they might use toxic humour. Don’t do it! Keep building your laughter skills! Laughter must be sustained and nurtured, not suppressed. Leaders need to take a bold stand and create healthy laughter for themselves and the people around them.
The Benefits of Laughter in the Workplace
Laughter in the workplace is being rediscovered as an innovative way to fight stress, improve morale, increase camaraderie and to increase motivation.
When I make presentations clients ask me what I think can be done with people who do not want to laugh. The agonizing grouches, the persistent pessimists and eternal criers will not go away. Furthermore, given all the time in the world they will not change. These difficult people choose to spend most of their time living in this state. Our choice is whether or not we accept this state of mind for our own lives.
Laughter is contagious; so are negative states of minds; they will impact on the overall energy of the group. Trying to change the state of mind of difficult people can be a total lost of energy. We have to accept that other people’s state of mind is not our responsibility. The fact remains, people change because they want to change. However, remember that working on maintaining our own positive state of mind will inspire others to do the same. Staying focused on feeling good is a good example to set and will help some difficult people to seek and maintain a positive state of mind.
Everyone must be committed to the process of creating and nurturing positive work environments in order to achieve any results. Difficult people need to know that they are not to interfere with the energy of the group. Clear boundaries need to be set. Sometimes we need to intervene; to take a stand and set the boundaries. Criticism, complaining and doomsday predictions must be checked at the door; only constructive ideas and solutions can be brought forward. People who are not committed to this process must be asked if they want to stay or leave. The question has to be addressed.
Take the Lead
Learning to laugh, giggle and smile has huge implications. Take it seriously; make a commitment to take the necessary steps towards building more laughter in your life and work environment. Leading with Laughter is a concept that needs to move from an idea to a core value for ourselves and our workplaces.
You are the captain of your ship, only you can make this commitment and set the course for smooth waters, gentle breezes and bleu skies. You have to eat, you have to sleep and you have to deal with everyday life; why not do it with a smile, giggle and a laugh. Your body, emotions, mind and spirit need regular nourishments, so refill with energy and start feeling good for a change! As a leader, you may need to take some bold steps to increase laughter in your own life in order to facilitate change and instill laughter as a way of life in your work environment. Get to know your staff, peers and colleagues. Observe what makes them tick and more importantly what makes them laugh!
What is it that put’s a smile on your face? How are you going to get the smiles going for everyone around you? What’s your favourite game? How many times did you laugh today? What needs to be cleaned up? What’s out of balance? What’s YOUR dream?
Great leaders desire to leave their mark – a legacy – in the workplace and on the people that they serve. How about being the leader who was not afraid to laugh?
Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.
~Victor Hugo
This piece was written by:
Rolande Kirouac
Member of the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers (CAPS)
Co-author of "Leadership Gurus Speak Out"
+1 204 256 6215
www.spadrole.ca
Disaster proof yourself and be amazing!
Spadrole is a business dedicated to getting breakthrough results for high-performing individuals, companies and associations. We believe that leaders who dare to dream and implement real changes create a contagious environment, one that leads to healthy, satisfied, high-achieving teams—an inspired workforce! Creative thinking skyrockets. Cooperation soars. Job satisfaction goes through the roof!
Rolande Kirouac, president of Spadrole, co-authored Leadership Gurus Speak Out! and contributed a chapter with a unique approach to transformational change for individuals and organizations.
To celebrate its first anniversary, Spadrole launched HA!, a 70-minute Spontaneous Laughter Workout CD. It is an easy-to-follow, interactive experience to accessing your inexhaustible power source of laughter.
Spadrole provides unique consulting packages, dynamite keynotes, unforgettable interactive workshops and life-changing retreats.
For more information on laughter as a leadership tool, visit www.spadrole.ca
